TIP OF THE MONTH - LEADERSHIP

There are many styles of leadership. Visioncasters or managers. Leading up front or leading from behind. Leading by giving direction or leading by modeling. There is no end to the styles and that is why there are so many conflicting leadership theories. You need to find one that fits you.

Regardless of your style the objective is the same – caring for the spiritual, emotional and physical needs of your group. This means understanding each individual in your group. Each one has a complex personality. One way of understanding is to use the attachment theory for classifying people. This will help you be more effective. Be very careful of classifying people too quickly before you really know them. Assume everyone is in the “Secure” category until you see otherwise.

Attachment Theory:

1)      Secure Style – People who are secure are moving forward in their relationships – open, transparent, and positive.  They are O.K. with their emotions and O.K. with yours. These people become the core of your group. They make good caregivers.

2)      Avoidant Style – Inflated view of self and negative view of others. They suppress their feelings and over-control them. You cannot get through to them no matter what approach you take because their ego is always in the way. They are frequently “talkers” and will dominate the meeting if not controlled. They make poor caregivers but are good at other assignments.          

3)      Ambivalent Style – Negative view of self and inflated view of others. Their feelings are out of control. They cannot get enough from you so you must limit the amount of time you give them. They need a lot of encouragement to share. They are unable to lead a project but are good and loyal supporters of a leader.

4)      Disorganized Style – Negative view of self and others. Mixed feelings. They are difficult to classify because sometimes they have their act together and other times they are totally dysfunctional. They are good at short term projects but not  permanent assignments.

Your group is a unique mixture of personalities so do not become discouraged if they do not immediately bond. It frequently takes longer than you would like. They may never bond so be prepared to move on to a new group.  Being ready to move on is a quality of a “called” leader.

  

TIP OF THE MONTH - STARTING & BUILDING YOUR GROUP

“Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people.”  Acts 2:46 & 47

 

STARTING YOUR GROUP

Before you start your group, you need to define it. You can define it in many ways – by age range (40’s and 50’s) or a stage of life (empty nesters), single, married or widowed, or by type (Bible study, recently widowed and grieving, relational). Most groups are designed to meet a specific need where people share something in common but provide a mix of personalities that can enrich the experience.

 

After you have defined your group you need to pray that God will work to help you find the right people. Pastor Shawn Winters can help you in this process by providing you with list of prospects who have expressed an interest in joining a group. Enlisting people you know is also a good way to begin. You should build your group to at least 8 and set a maximum of 12. Eight seems to be the ideal because it provides different viewpoints necessary for lively discussion and twelve seems to be the tipping point for losing the small group feeling that is important in bonding your group.

 

BUILDING YOUR GROUP

Everyone has a wall around themselves to protect their privacy. If you have a healthy group, the walls will come down over time. As your group develops there are a series of stages – sharing, trusting, caring, and finally bonding. Sharing is revealing your knowledge, understanding, wisdom, thoughts, feelings, experiences, and circumstances; even your hopes and dreams. Sharing is meaningful conversation beyond the weather, sports or your children.

 

Sharing becomes more open as trust is developed. Trust is the confidence that you will not be judged by others and that every thing said will be held in confidence. Trust has to be earned so it takes time.

 

 Caring is demonstrating concern for someone in your group. It may be verbal encouragement, a hospital visit, having lunch or dinner together, send a birthday card, an Email or phone call, having people into your home or praying with them. When your group members spontaneously do this for each other you know your group has bonded.   

 

And- pray for each person under your leadership. Being an example yourself is the best teacher.

 

ASKING FOR FORGIVENESS

ASKING FOR FORGIVENESS

 It is easer to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission.

-- Grace Hopper

Is this true? Probably so, if you are insincere or a manipulator. If not, asking for forgiveness can be a very difficult thing to do. Why is it so hard?

Sometimes we do not want to admit to ourselves that we offended or hurt        

     someone.
Sometimes we do not want to admit it to the person we hurt.
Some times we are not sure we offended someone.
Sometimes we feel our apology will be rejected.
Sometimes we are not sure if the person will use it against us.
Sometimes we want to stuff it deep in our minds and try to forget it.
Sometimes we doubt that our apology will be taken as sincere.

No matter how you rationalize it, asking for forgiveness is the only way to clear our conscience. It takes a well trained conscience to know right from wrong . It takes humility and courage. You have to trust the person that he or she will not use it against you. . I John 1:9 says “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”  While you cannot know in advance how your confession we be received by someone, you can completely trust God to forgive you if you sincerely ask for forgiveness.

Colossians 3:13 - 14 tells us that as believers we should practice forgiveness. “Bear with each other and  forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

 Asking for forgiveness is acknowledging that you hurt or offended someone by words, deeds, or circumstances; directly (malice) or indirectly (gossip); intentionally (deceit) or unintentionally (neglect).

One purpose of asking for forgiveness is to provide guilt-relief for the offender and hate-relief for the offended. But the higher purpose of asking for forgiveness is to reconcile

II Corinthians 5: 17 – 21 gives us insight into reconciliation. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come. The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God who made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”

Reconciliation is forgetting – we are new creatures, and to stop counting your sins – not keep track. It is like hitting the “Reset Button”.

Look at it this way: If you were appearing before a judge, what method would you like to be judged by: Justice – getting what you deserve; Mercy – not getting what you deserve; or Forgiveness – having all charges dropped?

 

TIP OF THE MONTH - PREPARATION

To prepare God’s people for the works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature…

                                                                   Ephesians 4:12 & 13

 

Preparing for your next meeting is one of the most important things you can do as a leader. Don’t wing it, plan it.

 

What are the things you have to prepare? They are simple but each one is important to making a lasting impact on your group.

ü      Pray for guidance. Pray for each one in the group individually. Pray for God to be honored.

ü      Prepare the room where the meeting is to be held. Are there enough chairs and are they suitably arranged to complement your goals? Is the room the right size?

ü      Prepare the material you will present. Will the materials need to be adapted to meet the goals you have set?

ü      Plan for ways to highlight important points.

ü      Think ahead about your group prayer time. Indentifying ways to pray about you have studied together.

 

You have a limited amount of time to make an impact on people’s lives, so make it count. Every day there are thousands of sights and sounds that pass through the mind. Most of them are dismissed by the frontal cortex of our brains, but some of them are sent to the cortex for storage in long-term memory. These are the things you remember.

 

Each year I go to the annual meeting of a para-church organization which I support, and there I hear a guest speaker. This year, the day after the meeting, I could not recall what the speaker said the night before but I could still remember what another speaker said the year before. One speaker made an impression that made a lasting difference in my life. The other did not.

 

As you prepare for your small group meeting, identify those ideas which are most important and plan for ways to emphasize and illustrate them in ways that will remember long after you meet.

 

 

TIP OF THE MONTH -CORE VALUES

 
CORE VALUES are those shared principles which surpass all others in importance, meaning, and significance for a particular person, family, organization, or group. They define us and tightly bond us. They are the “Ten Commandments” of the Bible, “silence” in the mafia, “good deeds” of the Boy Scouts, and “fidelity” in marriage. Wooddale’s Small Groups @ Home has a set of core values as well. They guide our thinking about why we have small groups, and what we want to accomplish as we meet together.

Every once in a while it’s good to re-visit the core values which undergird all that we do as small group leaders at Wooddale Church. The Small Group Ministry Team did just that in a recent meeting, and as a result has re-worded them slightly and condensed them into three which we believe are essential to the accomplishment of the mission of Wooddale Church through small groups.

Caring Community:  This value involves the building of life-giving relationships in the context of community, with an emphasis on the loving nurture and support of one another in the daily challenges of life.

Spiritual Transformation:  Wooddale Small Groups are in the business of fostering spiritual growth and discipleship in such a way that people’s lives are transformed into the likeness of Jesus. This happens primarily through Bible study, prayer, and fellowship, and is dependent on the Holy Spirit’s activity in changing hearts.

Compassionate Outreach:  In today’s culture, “outreach” has many different meanings, and this core value encompasses two in particular, each carried out with a servant heart of kindness and compassion:

• reaching out to others with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, sharing the Good News that Jesus came to provide a way to have a relationship with God forever, and
• reaching out to our world in practical acts of service in the name of Jesus.

Each small group at Wooddale has a unique character and focus, with varying emphasis on these core values. However, if all of us as leaders keep these in mind and seek to live them out in our small groups, we will discover that we are truly honoring God by making more disciples for Jesus Christ, and participating in an activity which has eternal significance!

Love In[Deed]:We encourage you to consider participating in this month’s Love In[Deed] that will take place on both of the Wooddale campuses on May 19th. Check out the following link for more information and registration...

TIP OF THE MONTH - CALLING

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called (you) me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only live up to what we have already attained. Philippians 3:14-16

 

As a Wooddale Small Group leader of a small group you have a unique opportunity and accountability to influence others on their path to find God and to grow to maturity in Christ.

 

A prerequisite for being a leader is to be called to the task. What is a call? It is belief that God is at work in your life and that you are the person at the right time and in the right place to be used of God for a special task. Your motivation is to serve God. The call may come though your mind and then to your heart or it may come from your heart to your mind. You may be the type of person who has a vision of God’s providence or the type that sees people’s needs and you feel compassion. The call may come by following a scriptural mandate, God working through your thoughts, or a voice in your head that tells you the ministry is for you.

 

Why is it important to involve both your mind and your heart? Your mind is important because it will tell you how to serve and when to serve. It will give you the wisdom and determination to press on when you are discouraged because people will not follow your leadership or have a low level of commitment. Your heart is important because you need to be genuine in your caring and loving.  A heart felt concern for people will give you faith when things are out of control in a person’s life and all you can do is pray with them.

 

You may be approaching this assignment with confidence because you have done it before or it may be a venture in faith because it is a new experience, but either way you need to be praying for God’s special blessing on your small group. There is no higher calling than making a difference in people’s lives. (John 15:12-13)

UNCOMPLICATED FAITH

A little 5 year old came running from church calling, “Mommy, do you know that Jesus loves me?” Have you ever thought about how easy it is for a young child to understand how to become a child of God yet an intelligent adult cannot?   

Nicodemus, a scholar in Biblical times, recognized that Jesus possessed godly power because he performed miracles but could not understand a simple spiritual truth. Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again”.  “How can someone be born when they are old?” Nicodemus asked. It was not a complicated situation, it was just too simple. There is a point where adult reason ends and simple childlike faith begins.

“The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world. He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God”. (John 1:9 –12). It was a simple spiritual concept that those who accept Jesus as the son of God become his children. Have you believed yet?

You do not have to accept the Bible as the word of God. You do not have to know theology.

How much did the thieves, crucified alongside of Jesus, know about him? One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: Aren’t you the messiah? Save yourself and us! But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God, he said, since you are under the same sentence? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong”. Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom”. Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.” (Luke 23: 39 –43). It was not complicated. It was simple. The criminal who accepted Jesus as the messiah went to heaven and the one who doubted did not go to heaven in spite of the fact that both had a life of crime.

The Bible tells us that salvation is a gift from God with no strings attached. We cannot work for it or expect good deeds to get us to heaven. From a human point of view this may not seem fair but it is just. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is a gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. (Eph 2:8 and 9). It is as uncomplicated and simple as that.

Let’s not make it more complicated than it is. A simple bit of knowledge and the faith to believe it is all it takes to become a child of God. But then what?

Maturing in our faith can be complicated. Ephesians 4:11 –13 says “So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teaches, to equip his people for the works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining the whole measure of the fullness of Christ”. We each have a spiritual gift that needs to be indentified and actively used. We need to equip ourselves for service. We need to keep learning about Christ and using him as our example. We need to spend a life time studying the Bible to understand God and how he works in our lives.

 

But God has given us his indwelling Spirit to help us make the complicated faith, uncomplicated.

 

  

 

 

WHEN RUGGED INDIVIDUALISM IS NOT ENOUGH

Rugged individualism is an America virtue. It is based on our Constitution and the Declaration of Independence and expressed as “All men are created equal”. Sometimes it is going it alone – lone ranger mentality – but most of the time it involves leading others. Rugged individuals are usually strong willed and highly driven personalities. They lead by example of hard work and expect the same thing from everyone else. They are results people. They are the entrepreneurs of today.

 

Let’s look at the life of the Apostle Peter to see a rugged individual in action.

 

He was a fisherman who enjoyed the hard work of rowing his boat with a whittled oak oar and lifting a heavy net filled with fish. He was an entrepreneur owning his own business and negotiating the sale of his catch to the highest bitter at the end of each day. Then he met Jesus who called him to an even harder task. Being a disciple of Jesus required him to be away from home, to constantly travel and to sleeping in a different place almost every night. Being a tough guy he could handle the situation because he learned to love Jesus who was a great teacher, healer and a devoted friend.  

 

After three years with Jesus when His ministry on earth was to end, the twelve disciples and Jesus gathered in an upper room to celebrate Passover. During a discussion Jesus prepared Peter for a teachable moment by telling him he would disown him three times. This was very troubling for Peter because of his great love and devotion for Him. His devotion was so strong he cut off the ear of a Roman guard who tried to take Christ prisoner. He was a tough guy and not even a Roman soldier was too much for him to handle.

 

A short time later when Jesus was being interrogated by the authorities, Peter denied knowing Jesus three times. It was a regrettable event but Peter the strong, capable, well intended and rugged individual found that it was not enough without the power of God. It was a teachable moment that would change the rest of his life.

 

Peter would witness the crucifixion of Jesus, see the empty tomb, be there when Jesus appeared in bodily form after he had died, see the ascension of Jesus into heaven, and experience the coming of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost. It was Peter who explained to the crowd that it was the power of God which enabled him to heal the physical needs of people. How quickly he was fully equipped for ministry. He went on to heal people, be imprisoned, and convert 5,000 people at one time. He went on to become the head of the church and is honored and respected to this day. He had a life of meaning and significance. He had the power of God because being a rugged individual was not enough.

 

Even if you are not a rugged individual, have you had a defining moment when you submitted your life to God’s power? Have you personally come to the point where being a strong person is not enough and you need to depend on God’s power in your life? If not, why not now?